23rd TASS Cricket Lament

Cricket Lament

(To the tune of The Wabash Cannon Ball)

Flying down MuGia at fifteen hundred feet,

Hear that mighty engine that's holding up my seat,

Spied a big ten-wheeler a-movin' down the pass,

Called in for some fighters to jump right on his ass.

"Invert. Invert, Invert, this is Gombey Sixty Nine,

I gotta get some fighters, so please stay on the line,

Guess you cannot hear me. It's the same thing every time,

Think I'll call up Cricket. They always read me fine."

I got a flight of fighters, a bunch of mighty "Thuds",

Also got some Phantoms, loaded down with duds,

I hope that you can find me. I'm right behind the karst,

Here's a Tacan radial-Shove it up your "ARST".

Finally got together, amidst the smoke and haze,

Took about an hour, but seemed more like two days

Rolled-in on my marking pass and fired a Willie Pete,

Hit that Mother broadside. It was a sterling feat.

"Sorry 'bout that target, please hold high and dry,

I only meant to mark it, but hit it on the fly,

I've got another target. It's farther down the road,

Defended by quad-fifties. Better salvo all your load."

They rolled-in on the target. There were tracers all aglow,

Sorry 'bout your BDA, I think I'd better go,

If it's like the last time, you missed it by a mile,

Accidentally hit a truck park. Now grin a Shity Smile.

Now listen to the rumble, the rattle and the roar,

You dropped those 750's, right on that dirty whore,

Watch those secondaries, a-risin' in the sky,

Lead is calling "Bingo", but four knows it's a lie.

Gotta head for homeplate. The weather's getting bad,

A strong and gusty crosswind and man my Spad's been had,

My tanks were reading empty. The fence was not in sight,

My wingman called for Jolly Green, much to my delight.

As I was comin' cross the fence, found Sandy on my wing,

It made me feel so God-damn good, I felt I had to sing,

"Naked Fanny Tower, this is Gombey 69,

Turning on the downwind, but things don't look too fine."

"Clear that God-damn PSP, my engine has just quit,

If I don't get it on the ground, I think that I will shit,"

Rolled out on the final, pulled the stick clear AFT,

Stalled it in from 15 feet and damn near broke my shaft.

Came to rest out in the sod, the ground loop did its stuff,

I stepped out very smartly and fell right on my duff,

Now this ends my story, you've heard my tale of woe,

But I guess that it was worth it, Old Ho just went figmo.

END

Written by Cricket Pilots in Naked Fanny Bar, NKP Thailand

Night of 18 April 1966